


If We Should Die Tonight (We Should All Die Together)

by Baccatapages



Series: Here We Go [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, F/M, M/M, Poor Bucky, and crying, description of pain, in this, you're a little ball of self hate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-25 21:52:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17129390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baccatapages/pseuds/Baccatapages
Summary: It was supposed to be a simple milk-run. They were meant to be back for Christmas.It did not work out that way.





	If We Should Die Tonight (We Should All Die Together)

**Author's Note:**

> I must implore you follow the motto, 'Don't like, don't read'. However, I always welcome constructive criticism
> 
> Warnings for angst, more angst and angst with a smidge of fluff thrown on top
> 
> *Runs away*

It was supposed to be a simple milk-run. They were meant to be back for Christmas.   
It did not work out that way.  
Every movement sent waves of throbbing pain through your stomach and back. It was exhausting, and you felt sick, but there seemed to be nothing you could do about it. The pain subsided at times, only to flare up again and with seemingly increased intensity. You paused for a brief moment, contemplating all you had fought for and all they could lose if you gave up now. Not exactly the most cheery thought for Christmas Eve, but you were a little distracted.  
You gritted your teeth and let out a short grunt. You were determined to keep going, to simply swallow the pain and deal with it later. One might disagree with you here, but Bucky’s heart-wrenching sobs filling the dark cell as he tried to stop the flow of blood, were more important. You’d never seen Bucky so distressed and for all you were beating Death away with a stick, you kept your attention on Bucky holding his metal, blood stained hand close to you.  
From the other side of the cell, Tony groaned. “Oh god, what happened?”  
“Ambush.” Bucky choked out, still keeping heavy pressure on your wound.  
“Y/N?” You could hear Tony shifting, but he groaned in pain. “Are you okay?”  
“Not really.” You admitted.  
“My leg…” He winced. “It hurts.”  
“Tony-“ Another wave of pain flowed over you. “I’m worried you have compartment syndrome.”  
“Am I gonna die? I’m too young, and handsome!”  
You rolled your eyes. “No, but it’s going to get painful.”  
“On a scale of one to ten?”  
“Slip into shock and die.” You managed to say. “But we can do something about it.” Bucky, who was still blubbering and choking on his own tears, only actually started to listen to you when you squeezed his metal hand. “Bucky? Tony… Tony has a higher chance of survival than me. I want you to do something for me.” Bucky blanched and shook his head vehemently.   
“No, no I can’t-“  
“Yes, yes you can Bucky.” You squeezed your eyes shut, gritting your teeth through another wave of pain. “If you love me you’ll do this for me.” Bucky looked torn but nodded. You gave him a reassuring smile. “The fascia, you know how deep that goes?” Bucky’s brow furrowed but he nodded. “On Tony’s injured leg, use your knife and cut through it. Afterwards, wrap it with his jacket to stop the flow of blood. It’s best if you don’t do it with any empathy.”  
Bucky nodded and you took away your hand. He took away his and immediately made you press both of your hands against the wound.   
Another blast of pain coincided with Tony’s screams and you couldn’t help but join him.

“Do you know what my biggest fear is?” Bucky was back to keeping pressure on your wound, silent sobs racking his body. “You.”  
“What?”  
“And Steve. You and Steve. I’m terrified that one day you… you’ll all wake up one day and see how better off you’d all be without me. That’s why I fended off Tony and Fury for so long. I don’t belong, Bucky. My own sister doesn’t recognise me… And I did some terrible things. I’ve burned hundreds of bases to the ground and… and they had children in them. Children. Babies. You… you were brainwashed. You had no choice. Me? I could’ve walked away. And the worse thing is I would do it again in a heartbeat.” You closed your eyes. “Supersoldiers… Billionaires… Assassins…Inhumans… You know what Buck? I just… it’s not a great thought at all but… I have a funny feeling that we’re all just human.”  
“No, Y/N, you stay awake.” Bucky ordered in a hoarse voice, squeezing your hand.

Ten and a half hours.  
Six hundred and thirty minutes.  
Thirty-seven thousand and eight hundred seconds of Steve pacing, wearing a hole in the floor.  
Bucky was reluctantly getting medical attention but the moment he was cleared by the nurse, he joined Steve in the waiting area while Dr Cho worked her best to try and bring someone back from the brink of death. Thor was off scouring possible ways in the Asgardian library, Tony was still asleep, Bruce had banned anyone who wasn’t Steve or Bucky clogging up the waiting room.   
Early on the 7th of January, Dr Cho emerged from the surgery room looking very tired but pleased with herself. “She’ll be fine.” Cho said. “She should wake up after a few hours but she may lethargic, so don’t expect an intelligent conversation.”

In your mild hallucinations and lethargy, you’d forced Bucky to go out and buy some waffles form the diner down the road. Steve couldn’t help but smile as Bucky put on a brave face and marched out of the room with his head held high.  
“Steven Grant Rogers, you shouldn’t blame yourself.” You demanded, all pretences of mild insanity gone.   
Steve sighed. “I should’ve gone with you.”  
“It was meant to be a milk run, Steve. You couldn’t have known that we’d get ambushed any more than I could.”  
“I thought you knew everything.”  
“I know that you’re not the golden boy everyone thinks you are.” Steve gave you a questioning look. “There is such a thing as password protection, you realise?” Steve went a cherry red. “Tentacle porn? Really?”  
“That’s probably the worst time to walk in.” Natasha said, carrying two neatly wrapped presents. “Merry Christmas. Here’s your presents.”  
“You didn’t have to get us anything.” Steve protested as Natasha shoved one of the presents into his arms.   
“Come on, Rogers, it’s just a present.” Natasha gave him a look.  
“Here’s yours, by the way.” You held out a box that was no thicker than a book.  
Natasha looked at you with mild surprise and opened it. Inside was a small picture frame with a family staring at her. The youngest girl had vibrant red hair, the elder one had y/h/c hair and the parents were each holding a daughter, beaming at the camera. 

You had told Steve about your present for Natasha so he kind of expected more hugging, more happiness, but when Natasha turned on her heel and walked away, Steve noticed you didn’t seem particularly surprised. Bucky appeared a few minutes later and they all feasted on waffles before exchanging presents.   
Steve had no idea whether or not to tell you that the comms had still been working and Steve had had to sit there while FRIDAY worked on tracking you, Tony and Bucky down and listen to you pour your heart out and Bucky sob until there were no tears left. Listen to Tony's howls of pain as Bucky worked on relieving the pressure in Tony's leg. A procedure that, Cho claimed, was the only reason Tony was still alive. 

The nurses didn't even try to persuade the super soldiers to leave, even when they were both piled into your bed with you.

**Author's Note:**

> I'M HAVING A BAD DAY, CAN YOU TELL?


End file.
